Ow

Its been quite the past few days.

First of all, I'd like to say sorry for not updating my blog. Second, I'd like to say...

I don't know what to say.

Jon and I are having a very hard time right now and things just keep getting harder and harder. I know that I'm stressing him out. My mood swings have been terrible, and I know I can say cruel things, I shouldn't but I do. He loves me unconditionally. It hurts.

I talked to Laurel about some of my struggles and she told me what I didn't want to hear but what I needed to hear. That Jon was right, and I do need to not take my frusterations out on him. Jon and I talked that night. Three things that I need to start doing are going to bed at a good time which is now 11pm, not waking him up in the morning at 5am because I need to sleep, and to hang up the phone when I feel like argueing with him.

So far, I have stopped waking him up in the morning. I have started to go to bed at 11pm though sometimes I don't actually get to sleep til 12 or 1am which is reasonable, its better then actually getting in my bed at 3 or 5am, I actually get in bed at 11 then fall asleep soon after. With me getting enough sleep, it seems to have toned down my mood. Which is a great thing.

I also have let go off some of the stress to do with my bills, I paid what I could on them and thats all I can do for now. Winter is so hard for everyone. It really was that power bill that screwed everything up. It doubled in a course of a month. I also had to get new glasses last month, and help my family out.

Speaking of glasses, I loooooooooove them. I look so much more adult like. It took awhile to get use to them but I got over that and I love them. I also noticed when my eyes finally adjusted to them because I had my zoom on my computer to 125% and I could barely read that with my old glasses but with new glasses, it was HUGE. I'm back to 100% zoom. Works for me.

I somehow hurt my back and I have no idea how. It feels like someone is twisting my tailbone. It hurts. I could barely move last night so it was uncomfortable in bed since I sleep on my side. :(

Anyways, thats all I have to say really..

Tata

~Holly